Born to sharecropper parents who toiled for 18 hour days in the blazing sun of Canarsie, Brooklyn, Seymour was conceived in love in the mud at Woodstock 1969. His early circumstances and an unfortunate medical condition had a profound impact on molding his personality for years to come. At the age of five, Seymour was diagnosed with a condition not widely known at the time as CRS - which comes from the latin, “Can’t Remember Shit”.

Unfortunately, the dearth of information regarding this condition during this period contributed to misdiagnoses, social problems, and worst of all treatments, which by today’s standards would be considered barbaric at best. Principal among these therapies was the consumption of a food product known as Kishka. Grown exclusively in the Galitzia province of eastern Poland, kishka was believed to be efficacious in the control of CRS. Unfortunately, what was not known was the propensity for this treatment to have serious and disturbing long-term side effects many years later. These side effects include hypertension, elevated cholesterol levels, sexual dysfunction, and a craving for a specific celery flavored soft drink manufactured by a dubious individual who referred to himself as Dr. Brown. As of the date of the writing of this biography, this author’s research has yet to provide any proof from any certified institution of higher learning that Mr. Brown was indeed a doctor.

Dislikes: Warren's pet clams (actually, he doesn't really dislike them - he just said that to be contrary)